Joy in the Journey

Here are some definitions of JOY I found on the internet:

–noun
1.
the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation: She felt the joy of seeing her son's success.
2.
a source or cause of keen pleasure or delight; something or someone greatly valued or appreciated: Her prose style is a pure joy.
3.
the expression or display of glad feeling; festive gaiety.
4.
a state of happiness or felicity.

–verb (used without object)
5.
to feel joy; be glad; rejoice.
–verb (used with object)
6.
Obsolete . to gladden.


Lately, I’ve been meditating on what JOY means to me, personally. Here are my thoughts….

When thinking of a middle name for our daughter, Carmelinda, we wanted something that would be short but have meaning. Her birth was such an amazing experience for us and we felt so much happiness in meeting her for the first time! I remember my eyes filled with tears when I saw her beautiful face and held her for the first time.

Since that day, we’ve longed for another child, but that hasn’t happened. It’s been a very hard journey to walk through. Through some tests, we’ve found out that Carmelinda’s birth was truly a miracle. So my heart is overwhelmed and over pouring with even more JOY! Carmelinda has brought DeLynn and I so much JOY in so many ways. Her personality is happy and energetic. She has so many gifts that we see coming out, like being able to express herself (the gift of communication), she loves to give others gifts, she loves to interact with children of all ages, her love for her animals, art, cooking, and best of all, her love for God. She loves to pray for others and loves to learn about God through her Odyssey CD’s and books. I see JOY written all over her life!

The day I got married, I also experienced so much JOY! JOY in knowing that God was giving me the gift of love. When walking down that long isle, I was so nervous, I could hardly look at DeLynn, but I also remember feeling overwhelmed with gratitude to God for answering my prayers in giving me a wonderful husband. I continue to experience JOY in being married to DeLynn.

But, I’ve also experienced JOY through some of the trials God has brought in my life. And I’ve experienced suffering so that I might experience true JOY.

I’ve learned the difference between happiness and JOY. Happiness comes to me depending on my circumstances but JOY is something I can experience no matter what my circumstances.
Infertility has brought a lot of tears, but JOY has come to me in the morning. I have JOY because I know God is in control and I don’t have to be afraid but instead trust him. Yes, that is easier said than done, so I’m learning how to do that one day at a time.

Deep sadness came to me when I lost my mom through cancer, but JOY comes to me when I know that because of God’s gift of eternal life, I will be with mom for eternity. I will see her again! I can’t wait for that day!

Steven Curtis Chapman has written a song that has ministered to me,

Out of these ashes
Beauty will rise
And we will dance among the ruins
We will see it with our own eyes
Out of this darkness
New light will shine
And we’ll know the joy that’s coming in the morning
…from “Beauty Will Rise”

During this Christmas season I’ve been mediating on the fact that JOY is a gift that God gave to me. My heart is filled with gratitude to God when I meditate on the Son that was given to me!

“Therefore let us also, seeing we are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily besets us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the author and finisher of the faith, who for the JOY that was set before him endured the cross, despising shame, and hath sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:1-2).

Jesus was filled with JOY knowing that He was bringing us salvation! Freedom! Without His gift, I would have never been able to experience true JOY! I choose JOY in spite of the heartaches in my life. JOY gives my life meaning to keep going! Let us rejoice!

Good-bye!

I typically don’t like good-byes, especially when they involve tears, kisses, long hugs! Sometimes my good-byes have been a quick wave of the hand. Leaving someone that you know you will see again is much easier and what I prefer.
My life has been filled with good-byes. Growing up, every five years, I said good-bye to a country that I grew to love. During my childhood, my most difficult good-bye for me was when I was 15 when I had to say good-bye to my friends and church in Ecuador. I had to decide what things I was going to take with me and what things I was going to leave behind. As a teenager, I felt very comfortable in Ecuador and considered it my home. I thought I would live there the rest of my life.
I remember our Farwell the church put on for us. Wow! There were lots of people there. We received lots of gifts, hugs, and kisses. Emotionally, I did NOT want to move back to the United States. My heart was broken. I was scared because I didn’t know what the States would be like. I would have to go to a new church, new school, pick new friends, everything would be different. When it came time to leave the airport, I couldn’t control the tears. Many of our friends had gone to the airport to say good-bye to us. I cried and cried and cried. I remember crying in the airplane as I looked out the airplane window. It was a sad day.
As a teenager, I was introduced to a good-bye that everyone has a difficult time with, that is, good-bye to someone you dearly love, due to the death of that person. I was 12 years old when my uncle Mike died. But the truth of the matter is that I didn’t REALLY say good-bye to him. That’s what makes sudden and unexpected deaths difficult. He died in a drowning accident. It was terrible. I remember my extended family gathered in the living room waiting to hear news that the rescuers had found his body. We waited three days. My aunt Susie and her children saw the accident happen. I can’t even imagine. There was nothing they could do. The water was so powerful that it just took him under. He was a favored uncle among the cousins since he was 18 years old and liked to hang out with us. I felt deep sadness and felt confused as to why God would take him from us.
The next good-bye that was impactful to my life was when I said good-bye to my mom as I left for the mission field. We both knew the decision our family was making was for a long time. It’s the career DeLynn and I chose for us, the same my mom and dad had chosen for their lives. I cried as I said good-bye to mom not just because I was going to miss her, but also because I knew that she knew exactly how I felt.
Little did I know I would have to say good-bye to mom five years later. She was diagnosed with a brain tumor. This was the hardest good-bye for me yet. I remember the night dad called me telling me mom’s diagnoses. For me, I think it was that night, emotionally, mom died, since things just weren’t the same after that. Mom and I loved to talk to each other. We were such great friends. But since the brain tumor affected her conversation, we were never able to have a conversation like we used to. It was no longer her taking care of me but me taking care of her. I was broken hearted.
But, I am eternally grateful to my Heavenly Father for giving me the privilege of saying good-bye to mom. And even though it was heart wrenching and I still get all choked up thinking about it, I cherish that special moment with my family as we stood around her bed, saying “Good-bye mom. We’ll see you on the other side!”
Since we’ve lived in Costa Rica, we’ve said good-bye to so many people. Some good-byes are harder than others. I remember the first time we said good-bye to our interns that spent eight months with us. That was so hard to see them go. I cried. And recently, we said good-bye to our first family that has helped us in the ministry. That was hard too. I cried again. One falls in love with them. They become a part of you. It’s difficult to think of life without them.
Good-byes are necessary because they bring closure. It’s like the end of a chapter and the beginning of a new one. I’ve learned that’s its ok to cry and maybe even feel anger, deep sadness, and a whole lot of other feelings. In all my good-byes, God has been my strength. He’s been my steadiness in times of trouble. Good-byes aren’t usually fun, unless it’s to something one is escaping or fleeing from. And sometimes good-byes are necessary, especially if God is telling you to do something else.” Like He told Abraham, “Go to a land that I will show you…” It’s then that we must obey. And with good-byes there is a process of grieving, saying good-bye to what once was but I believe God turns our sadness into pure joy too. That’s been my experience, learning through my good-byes and knowing that God is ultimately the only one that is eternal, who will ALWAYS BE.

Remembering

Four years ago, July 7, 2006, mom went to be with her beloved Jesus. I miss her terribly. She was a gift to me. I cherish the memories I have of her.

One of the most clearest memories I have of her was my first day of first grade. I was a shy and introverted little first grader. And if going to the first grade wasn't scary enough for me, I had to ride the bus all by myself. I don't remember much of what happened my first day, but what I do remember was my ride home.

I remember sitting alone on the bus. It was a LONG bus route for a first grader. I was one of the last ones off the bus. It was raining outside. We were riding along and then all of a sudden, I saw my dad standing outside our house, ready to pick me up, and the bus went driving on by! My heart sank! I thought to myself, "Doesn't the bus driver know where I live?" I felt tears welling up within me, but I didn't dare cry or say a word. I was too scared. At that moment, I wanted so bad to be with mom and dad and not be in situation I found myself. I don't know or remember how the bus driver figured out where I lived, but what seemed an eternity, the bus finally dropped me off at my house. Dad had the umbrella ready, and came out to meet me.

Once inside, mom was there to meet me too and I began to cry. I was so happy to be back with my parents. But what I remember was the comfort I felt when mom took me in her arms and rocked me back and forth in her Nicaraguan rocking chair as I continued to cry. She soothed my heart with her tender words of reassurance.

Even as I write this now, it brings tears to my eyes. I miss mom's comfort. Mom's just have a way to comfort their children, young or old.

But even as I long for mom's comfort along life's journey, God has continually reminded me that I have the Holy Spirit to comfort me. His comfort is gentle and loving. And for that, I am grateful.

The Guatechic

I am a guatechic. Why? Because, I was born in the capital of Guatemala, Guatemala city. When I was 8 months old when I was adopted by a wonderful young couple, Elam and Doris Stauffer. They were unable to have biological children, so they made the decision to give the gift of adoption to two children from Guatemala, myself and to my younger brother, Louie. For that, I will always be grateful. My life was forever changed.
I was blessed to be adopted into a Christian, missionary home who happened to love Latin America and who spent 20+ years giving their lives to the Latin people. I was raised a third culture kid, having the best of three worlds; the Latin American world, the North American world and the world where only MK's (missionary kids) and TCK's (third culture kids) can fully understand.
Besides living in the US, I have lived in other countries such as Beliz, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, and Ecuador. I have been privileged to visit about 10 other countries, as well. This would have mostly likely never happened if God hadn't intervened and saved my life. My life has been filled with so much richness because of where I was born and how I was raised.
Today, I have the privilege of continuing the vision and calling passed on by my parents, and ultimately given to me by my Heavenly Father. My husband, DeLynn, myself and our daughter Carmelinda have lived in Costa Rica seven years. We would like to think we will be here the rest of our lives, but only God has the answer to that. For now, we love living in the "land of paradise" living our dream.

Lately, I have felt the need and the eagerness to write about my life. This is mostly for my sake, but for you as my readers, you have the privilege of getting a sneak peak into my life, the Guatemalan chic!