Saturday, February 26, 2011

God's Promises for Me

“A bruised reed he will not break and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.”
Isaiah 42:3



This is the verse that has really spoken to me this week. At the beginning of the week, I was in bed, feeling ready to give up. I didn’t have energy, motivation and just felt overwhelmed by life.


I was wondering if I was going to break. But according, to God’s word, He will give me strength that I won’t break! That gives me So much hope. Right now, my strength is very dependant on His strength. Strength to get up in the morning, strength to be a mom, strength to wash clothes, strength to drive, strength to be around people….you get the picture!



I absolutely love candles. The love for candles was passed on from my mom. She always had a candle on the dinning room table. For me, it helps me relax and I love the different smells they give. I wanted a candle, and yesterday in the mail, a dear friend, sent me one of my favorite candles! I was so touched by God’s goodness, and thinking of the symbol and promise of Him not letting my wick snuff out. There is HOPE.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

God's Cocoon of Love



God gave me a picture today of a cocoon. I didn’t know much about how cocoons, so I did some research.





While a lot of people have probably heard about caterpillar Cocoons, they may not know for sure just what these are. Basically, they are nothing more than a protective casing that is around an insect. This is made of either silk or some other similar fibrous material that is then spun around the the insect during their pupal stage, which is the life stage of an insect that is undergoing transformation. While the most common type of Cocoon are those that are found around butterflies or moths, the egg case of a spider is also a type of Cocoon.






Usually an insect will enter into a Cocoon so that they will be protected from a harsh or unfriendly environment. This is why, most of the time insects will spend the wintertime in their Cocoons. So, as the days get shorter and cooler in the fall, these insects will start to spin a silky envelope around themselves. They will then retreat into this Cocoon and spend the winter without the need for food or water.



 

You may be wondering just how these Cocoons are made. Well, they are actually made of silk. This silk is spun from 2 glands that are located inside of an insect. These glands are filled with a material that is thick and glue-like. An insect will then work in a figure 8 in order to wrap themselves up inside of this silk. This material is pressed out of the insect's 2 slender threads. These threads will then stick together as they emerge and then grow hard when fresh air touches them.






This is a very interesting process because it has oftentimes been said that the most beautiful butterflies have actually emerged from the ugliest Cocoons. For this reason, many people consider the process of the Cocoon to be a miracle of nature itself.




I’m totally amazed by this process! God has used the cocoon to protect the insect or butterfly. In Costa Rica, there is a touristic sight called, La Paz Waterfall Gardens. It’s a beautiful place, where one can see all different kinds of cocoons. I remember seeing some cocoons that are gold! One can also see the butterfly come out of its cocoon. It’s an amazing slow and delicate process.


So what am I saying with all this? Right now, I’m going through a process of healing due to the death of my mother that happened 3 1/2 years ago. This is a very painful process for me. And I’m not just talking emotionally painful but sometimes physically painful. My grief is so deep that sometimes I don’t understand it. I’ve gotten to the point, where I’ve realized that I need some guidance to help me process my feelings and emotions. The enemy would like to come in cause confusion and disillusionment, but that’s where God’s Cocoon of Love comes in. I see His cocoon as a place of refuge for me.


I noticed that the insects spend quite a bit of time in the cocoon. They start spinning the silk in the Fall in preparation for the Winter! I’m not a very patient person and I’d like to see this process of healing pass by quickly. But God makes everything beautiful in HIS time, not mine. I would tend to run and say, “OK, God, lets get this over quickly!” But that’s not God’s way of working.


In this process, God is protecting me and healing me at the same time. God’s Cocoon of Love around me has been beautifully crafted. I’d like to picture the cocoon around me is made of the most beautiful silk. Mom used to love silk. When she was sick, she didn’t like to wear wigs, so we bought her some beautiful scarves. One particular scarf was this beautiful burgundy silk scarf. She looked beautiful in it. During her last days, we took a picture of her with a hat with the silk scarf wrapped around it.


This beautiful process is miraculous. God’s healing is miraculous. His love is miraculous. The verse He has given me for this time is:


“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Ps. 46:1 (NIV)

“God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him.” Ps. 46:1 (The Message)


My sweet mom, that I miss SO much.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Hungry

Last evening DeLynn took me to a “soaking prayer” that they offer at the Columbus Vineyard. This is the second time we’ve gone so we knew what to expect. The last time we went was right before we left for Costa Rica. All day yesterday, I was feeling weak physically and emotionally, so I wasn’t sure I could even pick myself up to go, but DeLynn with his motivational skills persuaded me to go.



The atmosphere is quiet. They have seats set up and a team of people ready to pray for couples or individuals. It’s a very pleasant and safe place to share what’s going on in ones life. We had several people pray for us.


But the thing that grabbed my attention was a paper they handed out to everyone who came in with some instructions of how to open oneself to the Holy Spirit. It was described like a baby bird waiting to get fed. That’s how I’m feeling lately. I need fed. I feel like the little bird with its mouth wide open, vulnerable, weak, defenseless, and hungry.




Here is a song that says what my heart is feeling right now:


“Hungry I come to you for I know You satisfy


I am empty but I know Your love does not run dry


So I wait for You


So I wait for You






I’m falling on my knees


Offering all of me


Jesus your heart is living for






Broken I run to you


I am weary but I know your touch restores my life


So I wait for you


So I wait for you”