Chapter 2 - Held in the Grip of Love of God

I wasn´t sure how to prepare myself emotionally or mentally for the road ahead. I don´t think one can, since every story is different. I remember walking into mom´s hospital room for the first time. She was very happy to see us. I was sad to see they had shaved half of her beautiful black hair. I was so glad to be there. We didn´t have much time to be with her before her surgery that day. But I made sure she knew how much I loved her and prayed within myself that this wouldn´t be the last time I´d have to communicate with her, even though at that point communication was limited.

When it was time to wheel her into the prep room, I remember just being in a daze, my mind full of questions. The tumor mom had was growing so fast, that in 7-14 days it doubled in size! They explained to us that the only way to answer more questions was to operate. Before they took mom to the operating room, dad prayed for the surgeon. He was a very kind doctor from the middle east.

As we waited, there were some very kind friends, that came and waited with us. They even brought food, but I just couldn’t eat. It didn’t seem right. Plus, I felt lonely, not having DeLynn and Carmelinda there and I was so tired because of arriving so late the night before. The time went so slow. I don’t even remember how long we waited, but I remember we didn’t have to wait as long as expected. When the doctor finally came out he asked to talk to the family in a private room.

I wasn’t prepared for the doctor’s news. He said the tumor had fingers on it so therefore they were unable to get the whole tumor out. The fingers were reaching into places that were too sensitive to go into. The doctor estimated that 60% of the tumor had been taken out. Then came the worst news of all; he told us that a person with this type of tumor had an average of a year life expectancy. He prepared us by telling us that in reality, they weren’t sure how much of mom’s memory would come back. So the question was, was she going to be able to talk, walk, take care of herself? We would have to wait and see.