Held in the Grip of Love of God

The love of Christ compels us . . . —2 Corinthians 5:14


It´s been 10 years since our little family left the States for Costa Rica. In January, 2002, little did I know the adventure of a lifetime I was getting myself into. I remember, Carmelinda was 2 years old. She was just the cutest thing ever! At that time, she was into Dora the Explorer, and explorer she became!
I remember saying goodbye to my family. Man, that was hard! Especially, saying goodbye to mom. I knew that she knew how I was feeling, since at one time she had to do the same thing. We both cried as we said goodbye. I knew that this decision we were making was going to be a hard one, but I had no idea it was going to be as hard as it has gotten at times! I probably better that mom didn´t tell me, I probably would have chosen to stay "home" where I felt  I was safe and secure.
(Just as a side note, mom wrote us a letter, every week as long as she could. Once she passed away, I really missed that!)
So into the unknown I went, with a heart ready to "Go." That was our theme song at that time:

If You Say Go
by Rita Springer

If You say go, we will go
If You say wait, we will wait
If You say step out on the water
And they say it can't be done
We'll fix our eyes on You and we will come

Your ways are higher than our ways
And the plans that You have laid
Are good and true
If You call us to thefire
You will not withdraw Your hand
We'll gaze into the flames and look for You


The first three weeks, we stayed with a CostaRican family, to help us get acclimated. They took us to the Heredia farm market, helped us paint our "new" house down the street from  them, babysat Carmelinda so that DeLynn and I could have dates and and introduced Carmelinda to cofee, which at the time we thought was terrible for a 2 year old and told them to please not give her cofee! :)
I remember, our first Christmas almost a year later. Two of our best friends, Kevin and Kristen Bucher came to vist us. It was wonderful!

It wasn't too long after Christmas, when things started getting challenging. We had been rent a camp along with another friend. It was being used for the teams that were coming from the States and Canada. But month by month, it seemed that our vision was different  than that person's vision and we ended up parting ways. That was my first "lastima," I encountered. I wished it had worked out, but it was better that we save our friendship rather than have a bridge between us.

Carmelinda at 2 years old. Picture taken at the first camp. 

It wasn't long after that we moved to a beautiful house in Heredia. Ioved it because it was big enough to have one of our first interns live with us. It had a lemon tree that produced lemons ALL year! You know, the kind of lemons they use at the fair to make lemonade! We drank SO much lemonade!
We were sent, for our first three years, under Rosedale Mennonite Missions, Rosedale, Ohio. But after our first term, the missions agency decided to put their focus on the unreached people groups and were no longer sending missionaries to Latin America. It was decided that we would be sent by the church we last worked at, Vineyard Church of Northridge. We chose a board that we would be accountable to and would help us make decisions and take care of us.
By this time, Pura Vida Missions was at it's beginning stages. We had had several teams down and really loved what we were doing.  In our first years of Pura Vida Missions, PVM, we were able to visit and work in lots of places and churches. It was a great way to get to know pastors and beautiful Costa Rica. At that time, it was our family and one or two interns (staff) that helped us. But it seemed that with vision of PVM, word spread quickly within the Mennonite Churches and soon we were recieving requests for youth groups to come down. Because we were working, at first, with the Mennonite Churches, we focused on sending teams to those churches. Each summer, PVM seemed to be growing and growing in numbers. Each summer, we needed more and more staff and a place to  host the teams.

First PVM sign

The Lord led us to a place I would have NEVER chosen!!! But in the end, served it's purpose and was perfect! But our first years at this "new" camp, were extremely hard for many reasons. First of all, it needed a lot of work! There were cockroches, dog poop, and piles of dirt inside. You see, it had been used as a mushroom farm at one time and no one had taken the time to clean it all out. The place was huge. It was made up of six large cubicals that wanted to renovate. There was a lot of remodling to do and the work seemed endless. I remember one of the first days after we moved, lying on my bed, curled up in a ball, crying, wondering what in the world the Lord was thinking! It seemed  it was a joke to believe that this was the best He could give us, since that's what we had been praying for and believed He would give us! I was so discouraged! DeLynn, on the other hand, was excited to get started, even though he knew it would take awhile!

The beautiful part of the camp!

This all took place in May and at the end of June, we were supposed to recieve our first PVM teams! Were we crazy! Yes! Our staff started arriving, but there was SO much to do and it looked too overwhelming, so poor DeLynn felt like he was pulling a donkey, at times! But all at the same time, we were excited about being in our own place and ready to see what God was going to do that summer! This was summer of 2005.
Then we got the email, and for me, things went down hill. By this time, mom wasn't sending me written letters anymore, but emails. It was one of these emails that at the end of her email, she wrote, "Love, Doris." I found it strange that she wrote this since she always ended her letters with, "Love, mom." But I thought, well, maybe she got confused.
A week later, I got another email. It was an email, telling me she had dropped off my brother, Louie off at the airport, since he was coming to Costa Rica to help us lead teams. And although this letter made sense, at the same time, it there were some words mixed up, that didn't make sense. I thought it very strange and decided I would ask Louie about it once he arrived.
It was great to see Louie and I was so excited to spend the summer with him. I couldn't wait too long to ask him questions. Once I started asking them, I realized something was really wrong. It made me sad.
The next week, I got another email from mom. This time, the mail was just words all scrambled together. None of it made sense. I knew I needed to call dad and ask him what was going on. Dad told me that the last few weeks had been tough. Mom's demenor had started to change from being happy to some one more sober, she wasn't able to finish sentences, she was confused, did strange things like bake a cake in a tin can. I pleaded with him to find help. This couldn't be happening!
That same week, we had recieved a team. I remember, being excited and worried all at the same time. Exited about the team and the summer activities and worried about mom. That week, Carmelinda was turning 5 years old. We had decided to celebrate with the team, Friday night and take them out for ice cream. In the excitement, one the participants missed her footing and slipped off the ramp outside and fell 5 ft. I saw it happen. It was horrible. She hit the wall and fell on the ground, motionless. We called the ambulance. While we were waitng for the ambulance, her team leader, started talking to her. She responded, but she was confused. Some of her words didn't make sense. I got in the ambulance with the leader and the the girl that had been hurt.
DeLyn met us at the Heredia hospital. While we were waiting for results, I got a call from my dad. I will never forget that call. It's one of those calls, one never wants to get, and worse, overseas. He told me the doctors had discoved  mom had a brain tumor and they needed to operate as soon as possible, which meant, Tuesday! How in the world was I going to tell my brother this terrible news! What was supposed to be a happy day, had turned into a very, very sad day.  (By the way, the girl was fine after 24 hours and she was sent home the next day. We were SO thankful nothing worse had happened.)
I remember just feeling numb. At that time, I didn't know much about brain tumors and the word, "cancer," scared me. After telling my brother, we prayed for wisdom and direction as to what we should do. I felt so helpless. I remember feeling so torn because I knew my husband was entering a full summer and now, my mom had cancer. As the hours went by, I got little sleep and felt little peace. I knew my ministry was in Costa Rica, but I also knew family was ministry too. Mom and Dad had taught me that by example, when caring for their parents in time of need. I felt myself loosing focus and concentration in Costa Rica and yearning to be with mom. After, talking with DeLynn and Louie, it was decided that Louie and I would travel to Ohio to be with mom and dad. It was going to be hard, but I knew that's where God was calling me. I really didn't know how long I would be there, but I knew I at least wanted to be there for the surgery and support dad. That summer, we had a wonderful nanny already coming to care for Carmelinda. She arrived on Sunday. As I watched them interact, I knew God would take care of Carmelinda and I felt so much peace, leaving Carmelinda. Monday afternoon, Louie and I flew to Ohio and Tuesday was the surgery. My heart was so torn up when I saw our first summer team arriving at the airport that I was leaving from.  I was leaving one ministry I loved to go do another.


(This is only part of the story, more coming....)