Carmelinda was so excited to see Grandma. I tried to prepare her by
telling her Grandma was sick and we were going to help her get better. It’s
hard to explain to a 5 year old what cancer is and all that it involves.
After flying all day, we got to my parents’ home, very late at night. Mom
and dad were so excited to see Carmelinda and I, they got up to welcome us.
Carmelinda was a little shy around them. We went to bed quite exhausted.
It wasn’t long until I noticed Carmelinda was uncomfortable around mom.
The night before was such a late night. I can only imagine what Carmelinda
thought of seeing mom for the first time after her surgery with her hair half
shaved off and a large scare of the left side of her head. To a child I’m sure
it was a traumatic picture. I hadn’t prepared her for that. I thought that
maybe the more she would be around mom, the more she would get used to mom’s
appearance.
I started getting worried when after a week she hardly ate anything. I
couldn’t figure out what was going on. I remember asking at the hospital, where
we would take mom for her chemotherapy treaments, if they had anything for
children that I could use to help Carmelinda understand what was going on. They
gave me a wonderful book, where Carmelinda was able to express her feelings
through pictures. The book had an easy way to explain what cancer is. Everyday,
we would take a little time looking at the book, and while she would work on
the book, I would pray that God would somehow help her understand what was
happening to mom. When Carmelinda drew pictures, she always drew Grandma with
half her hair shaved off. It looked so awkward, and yet so “normal.” It made me
sad.
Two weeks went by and then three and Carmelinda still wasn’t eating
hardly anything. When she would sit on Grandma’s lap, she often looked sad.
When talking with my parents, trying to figure how to help Carmelinda, we decided
it would probably be better for mom to cover her head with a scarf, that maybe
that’s what was scaring her. But time went on, and Carmelinda still wasn’t
eating.
By week three, I was so desperate.
I cried out to the Lord for help. I remember during week three getting a call
from our pastor, Pablo Kauffman. Shiloh Mennonite Church, our home church, had
mom on the prayer hotline everyday. He called and asked if we had any specific
prayer requests. Crying, I told him about Carmelinda and asked for wisdom and
prayer. He said he would put it on the prayer hotline. I was so thankful for
that call.
That day was a Friday and every Friday evening, Carmelinda and I went on
a date, just to give ourselves a break. That night, I took her to Skyline Chili.
She loved Skyline Chili! I was hoping it would encourage her to eat! As we sat
together in the restaurant, I remember watc hing her pick at her food. I looked
at her with compassion and said, “Honey, mommy is SO worried about you. It
makes me sad that you’re not eating. If you don’t start eating, I’m going to
have to take you to the doctor. Can you please tell me why you can’t eat?” I
had had this conversation with her on several occasions, but she just couldn’t
tell me what was wrong. Finally, that evening she said softly, “I can’t eat
because of Grandma’s head. When I look at her head, I can’t eat.” I was SO
relieved that she finally was able to express what was holding her back. At the
same time, it made me so sad knowing that Carmelinda was having a hard time.
When talking with my parents about what Carmelinda shared, we decided
maybe it would be better to get her a little table and have her eat there at a
different time than the rest of us. It seemed to work. I would sit with her
while she ate to help her feel more relaxed and because I just wanted to be
with her.
One thing we really enjoyed doing with mom was going on walks with her
around the neighborhood. Someone gave Carmelinda a little scooter. Mom and I
would walk, while Carmelinda would ride ahead of us on her scooter.
When mom started using scarves, I noticed that Carmelinda wanted to use
them too! So I bought her some cute scarves so she could be like Grandma.
Carmelinda was also learning to read. She had a couple books she brought
along to read to Grandma. Mom LOVED listening to her talk and read. I could
tell she was so proud of her!
God used Carmelinda as a healing balm for our whole family! She was so
cute and mom had so much fun watching her play. I loved when we were all
together making memories. Except, I still missed DeLynn so much and he missed
us. I was blessed to have one of my best friends home from furlough over the
summer. Her and her husband saw and heard how much I missed DeLynn and offered
to buy a ticket for DeLynn to come join us at the end of the summer. It was
such a wonderful gift!
So after crying and calling each other often, DeLynn was able to join our
family at the end of the summer after all our teams had left.
By the end of the summer, mom was doing pretty good. She was talking more
normal again. She was finished with her chemo and radiation. Everyday she was
exercising by walking. She was eating well and taking care of herself.
By the time, it was time to say good-byeI knew my work was accomplished.
I would miss my family very much, but it was time to return to Costa Rica. The
future was still very uncertain, but God gave me peace.
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